That's when you crack a 10am beer
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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