I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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