Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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