so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
