So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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