Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
