Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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