girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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