You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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