brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
