so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
