Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
