I bet he comes in French.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
