I'm gonna have a badass scar
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
