she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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