Fuck appropriateness.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Found your dick twin last night
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
