This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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