Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
