so that wasnt chicken after all
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
