I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I deserve this hangover.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
