brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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