is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
