barbara walters just said penis...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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