Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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