Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
