dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
