Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
