Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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