To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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