Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what day is it and did you see me today?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
