highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
