Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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