She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
