That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
