i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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