the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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