i think i have herpe
just one?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
