What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
