did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
