im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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