you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
