Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
