No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
