I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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