He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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