idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
