Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
