she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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