oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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