i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She bit a glass in half.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
