I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
