Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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