Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize