yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
