i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
