if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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