Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
