that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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