She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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