I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
