Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Someone signed my nipple.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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