nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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