Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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