I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
