k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
